I participate in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program and have an amazingly dynamic and inquisitive 'little' who asked me yesterday over dinner if I think anything is going to be different after the wedding. It's like she dived in my head and swam around for awhile and realized the pond she was swimming in was filled with many different versions of that very same question - are things going to be different when we're married?
I already know the answer is yes. An astounding and positive YES. And I can't wait for all the good - and even the bad - that 'I do' entails. Joanna Goddard is a relationship blogger for Glamour magazine. How cool, right? While she's on her honeymoon, her personal blog, A Cup of Jo, has been featuring guest writers giving their secrets to a happy marriage. What are some of your secrets?! I really love reading these. Here's part of one of my favorite posts so far:
Reinvigorate the Old.
Life's grind sometimes whittles away the parts of us that are carefree, inspired, focused or fun. One of the best things you can do for your spouse is to defend the parts of them that you married them for. And that doesn't mean saying "You used to be so..." It means reminding them that they ARE those things; they're not gone, even on their most beaten down days.
-Nichole, Little Brown Pen
(the secrets continue through September 14, go check them out!)
Life's grind sometimes whittles away the parts of us that are carefree, inspired, focused or fun. One of the best things you can do for your spouse is to defend the parts of them that you married them for. And that doesn't mean saying "You used to be so..." It means reminding them that they ARE those things; they're not gone, even on their most beaten down days.
-Nichole, Little Brown Pen
(the secrets continue through September 14, go check them out!)
But let's not get ahead of ourselves. I have 6 more weeks of planning and detail-combing and scheduling left to do and I plan on enjoying every minute of it. Now's kind of the hard part though. It's the part where the expensive decisions you made 10 months ago have to fit into the decisions you are making right now. It's not a time for second-guessing, or spending too much time on unimportant decisions. Or being too upset about spelling errors.
I am an adamant believer that you DECIDE to be a stress-free bride. It made me so pleased to read this post by a recent 'bridal graduate' that supported that belief in it's entirety. Here's an exert from her post on A Practical Wedding:
It is your decision whether or not to be a laid back bride. You can choose this. Lots of things went wrong on our wedding day. It pissed down rain; our rabbi was late; our dinner menus were printed in the wrong language; etc. I remember walking into our venue beforehand and seeing the set-up, which was lovely, but a little bit off from the careful plans I had given them. I looked at it and thought, "it's beautiful. It's my wedding day. I am going to let go." Perfect weddings don't exist--brides who say their weddings were perfect are women who made the conscious decision not to give a shit. I have read so many blogs where brides stated that their enjoyment of their wedding was hampered by the mistakes. I'm a pretty neurotic lady, so I know that I could have been one of those brides myself, but I consciously decided to turn the perfectionist part of my brain off and have an awesome time. It's your choice too.
In case you're like me, and a classic case of 'if I knew then, what I know now,' scoot over and read more tips from 2 brides who have been there done that, and were nice enough to share the dirt.
Got any more advice to share? I'm all ears!
Hope your weekend is filled with good weather, good food, good people and good football!
I couldn't have said it better myself. I really love reading your blog, I hope you know. 'Hope you're having a nice Labor Day weekend!
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